Tuesday, September 8, 2009


Jennifer Wong, the Singapore songstress, hit all the right notes when she sang her upbeat finale - "My Country 'Tisn't of Thee" before the judges. Their disinterest only made her belt it out louder. When her performance was over, and the judges had tallied their votes, she was presented with a FAIL. Jennifer couldn't believe it. She'd sung her song better than the other two contestants: Josh Brubeque (the judges' favorite) with his flat-note "Save Your Best For Me", and Sharmayne LeCroix with her over-the-top (yet under-the-belt) rendition of "Way Up There, Somewhere". Miss Wong broke into tears, before cursing the judges and damning the U.S. of A. Her outbursts were bleeped from the televised signal. Security guards dragged her flailing body away. When her feet touched down on the exit ramp, Jennifer felt a cocoon of cool sparkly light envelope her. Then a voice explained: "I am Vince, the almighty Creator's sculptor-laureate. He's in need of a new office planter. And because of your un-American behavior, you're it!" With a series of popping whirs, the light dissolved, exposing the heavenly sculptor's creation: Jennifer Wong - ceramic planter. A rare bird about to perform in paradise.

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